If you’re concerned about a friend, knowing when and how to step in and help can feel confusing. You and your friends may not have the same support systems you had when you were younger, like living at home with family. CU Boulder has support systems in place to help students navigate complex situations.
During your college years, you and your friends can face a multitude of new experiences and challenges. These can range from mental health issues to hospitalizations and family emergencies. Each of these challenges can be unexpected and may negatively impact academic success and overall well-being.
If you notice a friend acting differently or struggling, know that you can play a part in getting them support. Here are options and resources to help you support your friend.
Find support for yourself
You do not have to be the sole support system for your friend. It is OK to take care of yourself and seek support as you decide how to help your friend. Remember, you are not alone, and your needs matter too.
The Dean of Students office champions students by giving you the agency to succeed and helping you have a positive experience at CU Boulder. Staff in the Dean of Students office can serve as a sounding board as you help a friend. They are here for you to ask questions and get support for you and your friend. The Dean of Students office can help you understand your options and connect you to the most appropriate resources for your situation.
Learn to recognize signs of distress
If you think your friend needs help, start by observing for signs of distress. These can be changes in behavior related to academic, physical, psychological or safety risk concerns. Some common signs to be aware of are below.
Academic
- Sudden decline in grades
- No longer attending classes
- Classroom disruptions
- Failure to study or work on school assignments
- Academic assignments dominated by themes of extreme hopelessness, helplessness, isolation, rage, despair, violence or self-harm
Physical
- Marked changes in physical appearance like poor grooming or hygiene or sudden changes in weight
- Strange or bizarre behavior indicating loss of contact with reality
- Visibly intoxicated or smelling of alcohol or marijuana
- Rapid speech or manic behavior
- Depressed or lethargic mood or functioning
- Observable signs of injury like facial bruising or cuts
Psychological
- Self-disclosure of personal distress like family problems, financial difficulties, assault, discrimination or legal difficulties
- Unusual or disproportionate emotional response to events
- Excessive tearfulness, panic reactions
- Verbal abuse like taunting, badgering or intimidation
- Expressions of concern from other friends
Safety Risk
- Verbal, written or implied references to suicide, homicide, assault or self-harm behavior
- Unprovoked anger or hostility
- Physical violence like shoving, grabbing, assaulting or use of a weapon
- Stalking or harassing
- Communicating threats or disturbing comments in person or via email, text or phone call
Initiate a compassionate conversation
When noticing changes in your friend or sensing they may be struggling, it's normal to feel anxious about addressing your concerns with them. You might be the first to spot those changes. If you feel safe, you can take time to talk with your friend, which may increase the chances of them getting help.
Start the conversation privately to let them know you’re worried and genuinely care about how they’re doing. Take time to listen to what they have to say.
Student Conduct & Conflict Resolution provides additional resources for healthy dialogue. Visit their webpage for more tips and support.
If there is an imminent danger to you, your friend or someone else, call 911. Rely on emergency personnel to expertly handle the situation if your friend’s conduct is clearly reckless, disorderly, dangerous or threatening.
Refer them to Student Support & Case Management
If your friend needs additional support, shows clear signs of distress, or you are feeling uneasy after an interaction with them, refer them to Student Support & Case Management (SSCM).
Anyone can refer a student to SSCM. There are three ways to do so:
- Fill out the online referral form.
- Call SSCM at 303-492-7348.
- Email the department at sscm@colorado.edu.
SSCM is available to provide individualized support to students. SSCM case managers connect students with campus partners, community resources and support systems while building a trusting relationship and coaching them toward self-advocacy.
SSCM can even help students with financial challenges after unexpected situations, such as recovering from physical or mental health emergencies or traveling to support their loved ones in need.
If you are unsure whether to refer your friend, you can contact SSCM for guidance. Some of the more common reasons to refer a student to SSCM include, but are not limited to:
- Concern for a student’s mental health
- Hospitalization (physical or mental health)
- Suicidal ideation
- Harm to self or others
- Loss of a loved one
- Family emergency
- Food insecurity
- Housing insecurity
- Financial concerns
- Threatening behavior
Know that SSCM is a non-confidential service. This means if you disclose that you or someone else has been impacted by sexual misconduct, protected-class discrimination or harassment, intimate partner violence, stalking or related retaliation, SSCM is required to share that information with the Office of Institutional Equity and Compliance (OIEC) for outreach regarding support and reporting options. You are not required to respond to OIEC. If you need support, OIEC provides a list of resources, including confidential assistance. If you have questions before you want to submit this type of information, please contact the confidential Office of Victim Assistance (OVA).
Additional resources
In addition to SSCM, CU Boulder provides a wide range of campus resources for students facing challenges.
Counseling and Psychiatric Services (CAPS)
CAPS is the primary mental health service on campus. They provide short-term counseling, community referrals, consultations, workshops, group therapy and more. CAPS is also available to provide insight and direction for friends or loved ones who want to support their peers.
Confidential resource
Office of Victim Assistance (OVA)
There may be times when a friend wants to speak confidentially or hypothetically about sexual misconduct, intimate partner abuse, stalking, discrimination or harassment. OVA is a free and confidential resource that supports students through traumatic or life-changing events through short-term counseling, advocacy and more.
Confidential resource
AcademicLiveCare (ALC)
AcademicLiveCare is a free telehealth platform that allows students to schedule medical and mental health appointments virtually. Students can use this program to see board-certified healthcare professionals from home, campus or anywhere you go. All you need is a smartphone, computer, tablet or other mobile device.
Basic Needs Center (BNC)
The Basic Needs Center is a campus care collective for students seeking assistance accessing essential food, housing and resources. Plus, it provides support in emergencies. The center also offers education on how to navigate local and national food and emergency housing resources.