At CU Boulder, you’ll meet people with different backgrounds, experiences and perspectives. Whether you’re participating in a class discussion, working on a group project or talking with friends and roommates, you may encounter people who see things differently. 

Learning how to listen, express your opinions and navigate disagreements can help you communicate more confidently and build stronger relationships. Here are five tips for having respectful, productive conversations with people who have different points of view. 

1. Approach conversations with curiosity 

College is a great time to explore new ideas and consider different perspectives. When talking with someone who has a different opinion, approach the conversation with curiosity and an open mind. 

Everyone’s experiences and background influence how they see the world, including yours. Think about how your own beliefs and opinions have developed, and consider how someone else's experiences may have shaped their perspective. 

You may discover something new, find common ground or gain a better understanding of why someone feels differently. 

2. Listen and ask thoughtful questions 

When you disagree with someone, it can be tempting to focus on what you’ll say next. Instead, give the other person your attention and listen to understand their perspective. 

Asking thoughtful questions can help you learn more and avoid misunderstandings. Here are a few ways to keep the conversation going: 

• Ask open-ended questions. Try asking, “Can you tell me more about why you feel that way?” or “What experiences have shaped your perspective?” 

• Clarify what you’ve heard. Restate what you think the other person is saying to make sure you understand. For example, “It sounds like you’re saying... Is that right?” 

• Look for shared values. Even when you disagree, you may find that you both care about similar things, such as honesty, independence or supporting others. 

Listening with curiosity can help others feel heard and create space for a more thoughtful conversation. 

3. Share your perspective respectfully 

Respectful communication goes both ways. Sharing your own thoughts and experiences is an important part of a productive discussion, especially when you have a different opinion. 

Try using “I” statements to explain your perspective without making assumptions about the other person's intentions. For example, you might say, “I’ve had a different experience with that. Here’s how I see it.” 

You can also acknowledge what someone has shared before offering your perspective. Saying, “I understand where you’re coming from, and I see it differently,” can help keep the conversation open. 

Remember that understanding another person’s viewpoint doesn’t mean you have to agree with them. You can recognize their perspective while staying true to your own beliefs and values. 

4. Stay mindful when conversations get difficult 

Disagreements can bring up strong emotions, especially when discussing topics that matter to you. Paying attention to your tone, words and reactions can help keep the conversation productive. 

If you notice yourself becoming frustrated, slow down and take a moment to consider how you want to respond. Focus on expressing your thoughts clearly rather than trying to prove someone wrong. 

You can also acknowledge when a topic feels important to both of you. Recognizing shared concerns or values may help reduce tension, even when your opinions remain different.