Conflict is difficult. For everyone. And some personal conflict you might be facing right now is with your roommate(s). Everything is exciting and easy in the beginning with the energy of a new semester, but with the newness wearing off, so might be the “best manners.” But don’t worry—there are skills and steps you can start to build on now that will help you not only get better at dealing with it, but allow you to become more comfortable with it. Below are some general guidelines that may be helpful as you start working on creating a more peaceful living environment.
- Be thoughtful. Think carefully about what’s truly an issue and what just might be a difference. We’re all coming from different backgrounds, families, parts of the country/world, and sometimes things are just not what we’re accustomed to.
- Talk to them. Direct communication using specific examples and possible solutions is a great place to start. And do this in person, face-to-face. A lot can be misconstrued in a text or email.
- Revisit the roommate agreement. It’s something you both filled out, reviewed and agreed to. A gentle reminder that the standards were set by both of you might be enough to get things back on track. Or, it might be a case of renegotiating the agreement.
- Reach out. Your RA and hall director are excellent resources to help you work through the process. They can be a sounding board, help you figure out what to say or can act as a mediator. You can also reach out to Counseling and Psychiatric Services (CAPS). They can provide some additional support when necessary.
The campus Ombuds office can also assist students with both administrative and interpersonal concerns or conflicts.
