Being a Buff means being part of the CU Boulder community. Being part of this community means looking out for one another. Whether it’s situations on campus, in the classroom, in the residence halls or when going out, using the buddy system is one way to have each other’s backs.
Here are a few tips to help you look out for your fellow Buffs this year.
Establish a buddy system
If you choose to go out with friends, make a commitment to stick together and check in with each other throughout the night so that everyone can have a good time and be safe. These commitments can decrease the chance someone will have to rely on a less-known friend or stranger to get home and lower the risk of something bad happening.
Make a plan
If you choose to go out with friends, have a conversation beforehand to make sure everyone’s on the same page.
- Make sure you all have each other's phone numbers.
- Commit to not ditching someone if they have too much to drink and/or they become difficult.
- If you choose to drink, make sure it’s with people who will take care of you if you drink too much.
- Stay with the same group of friends the entire night and make sure everyone gets home safely.
- Agree to discourage each other from doing something embarrassing or dangerous.
- Create a code word, sign or text emoji that means "Get me out of this situation!"
- Share locations with each other on an app.
- Agree on a way to communicate and regroup if people get separated.
- Check in with your friends if the plan you all made for the night needs to change or is falling apart.
Follow up
If the evening doesn’t go as expected with your friends, talk about what happened at a later time and try to make a better plan for the future.
Preparing for this conversation in advance can help you think about how to share your views and hear your friends’ perspective more effectively. Before going into potentially stressful conversations, it’s important to reflect on what we’re expecting and what might realistically happen, so we can prepare emotionally. We can’t control the outcome, but we can control our own actions, reactions and what we say.
Then, find a time to follow up with your group on how you should approach problems with each other. Explaining why you want to have this conversation and sharing what you hope will come of it can all make for a better interaction.
Approach people with empathy to talk about why the plan was important in the first place. Avoid coming across as judgmental or demanding. Sometimes these conversations can be challenging, but it’s possible to be direct yet supportive at the same time.
Conversations don’t always resolve the way we’d like, and sometimes making progress means revisiting the conversation and being willing to keep trying. If things feel like they’re unresolved, let your friends know you appreciate their time and you’d like to follow up with them in the future. Give them some time and space before engaging again. If things are resolved more quickly, share your appreciation and gratitude.
Even when we make a plan, we can’t always anticipate when something might go wrong. If something bad did happen, focus the follow-up conversation on offering support and avoid blaming people or dwelling on what “should” have happened. Offering a supportive response is one more way we can look out for and take care of each other.
