Discussion Norms

Brave Space Agreements and Discussion Norms

1. I agree to love, forgive, and take care of myself
2. I agree to love others and build an inclusive community
   • It is not the responsibility of the person being marginalized to educate those who are ignorant 
     1. We will not call out people to share out their specific experiences, or to explain their traumatic experiences
   • We will believe someone when they say they were harmed.
     1. Don’t ask them to “prove it”
   • We will not allow the use of slurs or derogatory terms to refer to people or groups. 
     1. Except for people within those groups?***
        1. Could be something we talk about/mention in our discussion with the whole chapter
   1. We will critique ideas, systems, societal norms, etc., not each other.
      1. We will be conscious of the language with which we offer critiques
      2. We will not practice ally policing: not critiquing someone for being less “woke”, but rather encouraging people to step up who may worry they aren’t as “woke”/knowledgeable
3. I agree to be accountable for what I do and say
   • We will not use Devil’s advocate - explain an alternative option.
     1. Explain more- take ownership of what you’re saying/ is there a better way to phrase what you’re saying?
     2. I.e. ‘i’m curious what you think of…’ ‘I’d like to learn more about…’ ‘i’ve heard this and I would like to understand what you think of it…’
   • We believe that being held accountable for our actions is positive and powerful.
     1. Consider why you are feeling defensive (if you are)
     2. We are fighting for a common goal
   • ‘Concerned troll’- someone who pretends to be on the side of one person but interjects devil’s advocate things into the conversation to distract it *** (Might not concern our group directly)
4. I agree to be thoughtful about choosing when I listen instead of speak
   1. We will ‘Step up, step back’, and recognize when we should speak and when we should step back and let others speak.
   2. We recognize that certain voices and perspectives will need to be centered more than others in certain conversations.
5. I agree to struggle against racism, sexism, ageism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, classism, misogyny, shame, and other harmful systems
   • We will not hold space to discuss any reverse ism’s or reverse ‘phobias’ ex: reverse racism, reverse sexism, reverse homophobia, or reverse ableism, etc.
     1. But you can discuss it with us one and one- Aidan, Macy, Callum, Hannah
     2. No validation
     3. Not to invalidate experiences, but to avoid harming/putting down others’ experiences to validate our own
   • We will center the harmed over the harmer by acknowledging intent but centering impact.
     1. We will not sacrifice the dignity and safety of those who were harmed in the name of becoming more educated
     2. Remember victims, not just oppressors
6. I agree to struggle against these harmful systems that I have internalized when they show up in my thoughts and behaviors
   • We recognize that sometimes conflict and discomfort are necessary for dismantling systems of oppression and we will not avoid conversations solely for the sake of comfort.